Department Of Homeland Obscurity

24. FSU alum. Some type of professional.


Ask me anything

(Source: adfoc.us)

ihearttallahassee:

"First impressions"

Railroad Square Art Park

hollycourt55377:

Like you not gone make any attempt to quiet your child? Not none?

(Source: orangeis)

Person:
Hi, do you want pizza?
Person Nobody Likes:
No. I'm being healthy. I'm not eating pizza because...
Everyone:
Okay.
Person Nobody Likes:
It looks so good, but the calories--
Everyone:
Okay.
Person Nobody Likes:
...and the fat--
Everyone:
Okay.
Person Nobody Likes:
Here's a long explanation of my diet...
Everyone:
Person Nobody Likes:
But I wish I could cheat LOL!
Everyone:
Person Nobody Likes:
That stuff is so bad for you, you know? But you have fun!
Everyone who has left to go live their lives:
Person Nobody Likes:
It's the gluten, you know? I don't know what that is, but it's soooooo baaaaaad.
Crickets who have come out because it's midnight now:
Person Nobody Likes:
I cheated and ate an M&M yesterday! I spent an hour at the gym to make up for it but so worth it LOL.
Unfeeling universe:
Person Nobody Likes:
Have you tried using cauliflower instead of bread to make a pizza?
Existential dread:
Person Nobody Likes:
It tastes exactly the same, and it's sooooo much healthier.
Death itself:
Person Nobody Likes:
I'm gonna go drink my soy smoothie now.
Person Nobody Likes:
It's a small size.
Person Nobody Likes:
Gotta watch my thighs!
Apocalypse, the end of all space and time as we know it, the fathomless void of nothingness:
Person Nobody Likes:
BUT YOU ENJOY THAT PIZZA, FRIEND.

I would so see this

(Source: themaddestdog)

goldenclitoris:

how the fuck yall takin me to the vet now aahahaha

goldenclitoris:

how the fuck yall takin me to the vet now aahahaha

(Source: reikokuxdori)

(Source: sandandglass)

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